Stop Enabling (no ones stays in addiction without help)
The following information is borrowed from Alcoholism.About.com
Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling is doing for someone things that they could, and should be doing themselves.
Simply put, enabling creates an atmosphere in which the alcoholic/addict can comfortably continue his unacceptable behavior.
Are you an enabler?
Here's a few questions that might help determine the difference between helping and enabling an alcoholic/addict in your life:
1. Have you ever "called in sick" for the alcoholic/addict, lying about his symptoms?
2. Have you accepted part of the blame for his (or her) drinking/using or behavior?
3. Have you avoided talking about his drinking/using out of fear of his response?
4. Have you bailed him out of jail or paid for his legal fees?
5. Have you paid bills that he was supposed to have paid himself?
6. Have you loaned him money?
7. Have you tried drinking/using with him in hopes of strengthening the relationship?
8. Have you given him "one more chance" and then another and another?
9. Have you threatened to leave and didn't?
10. Have you finished a job or project that the alcoholic/addict failed to complete himself?
Of course, if you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you at some point in time have enabled the alcoholic/addict to avoid his own responsibilities. Rather than "help" you have actually made it easier for him to get worse.
